Why the Gophers are CLEARLY SUPERIOR to iowa

by rencito on Nov 22, 2008 8:44 PM CST

There is a big reason why I did not capitalize iowa.

Minnesota's athletic program:

women’s cross country two time defending big ten champs

men’s cross county ranked #14; iowa not ranked

baseball team actually finished a half game ahead of iowa—the only team we were ahead of in the conference

men’s basketball finished ahead of iowa last year

iowa doesn’t even have a men’s golf team Correction: Minnesota's men's golf team finished 2nd in the big ten while iowa finished second to last

iowa men’s gymnastics finished dead last in the conference

Gophers won the big ten in women’s soccer

men’s swimming finished 3rd in the big ten—iowa finished second to last

women’s swimming won the big ten last year, iowa in 9th place

women’s rowing: Minnesota 4th, iowa 6th

volleyball: Gophers 2nd in big ten and nationally ranked; iowa in 9th place

women’s track and field: big ten champs, iowa 5th place

men’s track and field: Gophers fifth place finish; iowa 8th

Minnesota men's and women's hockey teams are national powerhouses. iowans can't even skate so there aren't any hockey teams.

So iowa fans may say who cares, right? Of course they would. Football is quite literally the only thing they have anything to boast about. Minnesota has one of the best athletic programs in the entire country. So when someone says iowa sucks--they are telling the truth.

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Have you ever heard of wrestling?

Gonzo2

by Gonzo2 on Nov 23, 2008 3:30 AM CST 0 recs

Really?

I am sympathetic to the phenomenon of mental instability in the wake of a humiliating loss; to this day I don’t know who it was that I savagely killed with my bare hands and ate in the middle of Hawkins Drive after Western Michigan last year. So I can give the benefit of the doubt and assume that this utterly ridiculous post can be chalked up to the shock of seeing your once 7-1 team made to look like a bad D-1AA squad, at home, by a rival team with an identical record. I can even imagine having a little bit of sympathy for the writer and other fans who once held Rose Bowl hopes and now hold Insight.com hopes, but as for these garbage claims of general athletic superiority, I will show no mercy.

Too begin, let us correct a blatantly false statement and further embarrass Minnesota in one fell swoop. Iowa does have a men’s golf team . And beyond merely existing, they finished two places ahead of Minnesota at your own Golden Gopher invitational this fall.

This complete inaccuracy aside, your main argument is completely stupid and reeks of blind Minnesotan arrogance. You need look no further than our national champion Hawkeye wrestling team, which often draws near-sellout crowds to Carver-Hawkeye arena (15,500), to know that Iowa has more going for it than football. You might also remember last year’s co-Big Ten champion women’s basketball team. In the realm of non-revenue sports that constituted the majority of your post, Iowa also produces its fair share of accomplishments. Since you felt it necessary to trot out examples of obscure Gopher success, I will respond by pointing out our Big Ten champion and national semifinalist field hockey team, this year’s Big Ten Singles Tournament champion, and the Hawkeye softball team that has played in the national tournament eleven out of the last thirteen years.

These are certainly not the only examples of Iowa’s athletic success beyond football, and are certainly not the only cases in which Iowa athletes finished ahead of Minnesota athletes by a couple places (really, you’re throwing down with 4th place rowing vs. 6th place rowing?), but I neither feel the need nor have the time to look up and cite every instance. I am too busy giddily celebrating the absolute, unqualified destruction of the Minnesota football team that I witnessed last night in the Metrodome with 25,000 of my closest friends. As always, we were glad to offer instruction in true fanhood to the citizens of would-be Gopher nation (there is a big reason why I did not capitalize nation), most of whom have already ended their brief ride on the bandwagon and reverted to their "hockey is our main sport anyway" mantra. They’ll probably be back next year to see how the seats feel in the new second smallest stadium in the Big Ten, and they’ll put on their Minnesota gear when the team does well, and they might even travel to a bowl game to escape the god-awful frozen wasteland of the Midwest in December, but these fickle fans I know and love will still rely on hockey and putting down Iowa for athletic pride .

So bring on the "Who hates Iowa?" cheer, your plethora of predictable [insert any rural state/city/person/vague concept here] jokes, and your general disdain, Minnesotans. This temporarily-exiled Iowan will be walking the streets of Minneapolis with a spring in his step, a tiger hawk on his cap, a pig in his trophy case, and the quiet confidence of a third generation member of Hawkeye Nation who knows he is part of something Gopher fans will never understand.

by Third Generation Hawk on Nov 23, 2008 3:36 PM CST 1 recs

I can think of 55 reasons why Iowa is better than Minnesota

But, yeah, what he said

Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."

by Hawkeye State on Nov 23, 2008 5:58 PM CST up 0 recs

Really.

Your opening paragraph shows that you were at least able to read between the lines and comprehend the jest. You can also tell by the time of the post that this was written during the time when our football team was getting our asses handed to us.

My postings are usually more insightful and verbose; you can tell this was written somewhat hastily. As a result, the comment about the men’s golf team was inaccurate. It should have read, Minnesota finished 2nd in the Big Ten and iowa second to last.

Of course, I left out the few iowa athletics successes because this is a Gophers blog. It is supposed to be partisan in nature. The truth is, there really wasn’t much I left out about iowa. The wrestling team has a storied history—I’ll give you that; but recent history (last ten years) shows the Gophers actually outperforming iowa even in that sport.

You talk about “Minnesotan arrogance”, but I would guess that if you polled fans from all the Big Ten schools they would put Iowa fans near the top of that list. As evidence, you have no further to look than your own post. You come on a Gophers fan post and leave a long winded response despite the fact that you know the original posting was tongue-in-cheek; and you couldn’t even handle that. Had I left this sort of rant on an iowa board—different story. But I didn’t. Furthermore, the rivalry between wisconsin and Minnesota is more heated than it is with iowa. Yet, after our loss to Wisconsin, you didn’t see the sort of smug comments such as yours and others from down south.

So go ahead, have a spring in your step for tomorrow or the next few days. You demonstrate my point for me perfectly about your own arrogance. We have many more to successes to cheer.

“…and the quiet confidence of a third generation member of Hawkeye Nation who knows he is part of something Gopher fans will never understand.”

You were talking about inbreeding, I assume? There you go, there was the predictable rural state/city/person/vague concept joke you were waiting for.

by rencito on Nov 23, 2008 7:04 PM CST up 0 recs

Wow!

I have to give Third Generation Hawk serious props on the beat down of Rencito’s non-knowledge of Hawkeye sports (and U of M). It was obvious that Rencito knew he was beaten when he started with the “in-breeding” trash. Whats next? Iowa fans drove to the game in tractors? We don’t tip well at restaurants? PLEASE let’s stick to the facts. Both programs have success in other sports. How Rencito doesn’t reference Gopher wrestling is a slam to his own U and his knowledge about anything. The gophers won a wrestling national championship and have a good team this year, but he would rather rant about men’s cross country? I’m sure Minnesota’s band is better than Iowa’s too! BTW – How did your feel when you changed the channel at halftime to the Mountain only to watch DU whip the varmints 4-0. Another bagel on the board!
Maybe there is a reason why rencito doesn’t even capitalize his OWN name. Inferiority complex?

by jocohawk on Nov 23, 2008 8:50 PM CST up 0 recs

again...

FYI…the inbreeding joke was just that. I felt obliged to throw it in there just to live up to what we all know as old hat. It wasn’t a serious retort to his (or her?) serious response to my original post which should have been obvious given the context of the dialogue and it being the last thing I typed.

Of course, I left out wrestling all together since it would be like North Carolina basketball fans telling Duke fans they never won anything in basketball or vice versa.

And with that, I’m done wasting my time trying to convince you guys when the number of championships we have won in a wide array of sports over the years dwarfs Iowa. Which, by the way, was the whole point of this post. And you still haven’t figured it out.

BTW…our band is WAY better, not to mention our fight song.

by rencito on Nov 23, 2008 11:02 PM CST up 0 recs

stuck in reverse

Surely there is no ‘jest’ or ‘reading between the lines’ with your post(s). If there is, you really need to work on your sixth sense (of humor). Your claim that your were ‘joking’ and that your ‘comments were made hastily’ are simply a way to defend your ignorance. I do see light at the end of the tunnel for you though. Your comment that states, “I left out wrestling all together since it would be like North Carolina basketball fans telling Duke fans they never won anything in basketball or vice versa.” is a GREAT joke. Let me know when you get close to being the ‘North Carolina’ of college wrestling. It might take you twenty years to catch up, assuming we don’t win anymore. Also, you SHOULD give props to your band. Poor kids (and the senior ’ballers’) had to suffer through the whole game Saturday night while all the MN fans left at halftime. I jest that the MN fair weather fans will not find fair weather at the new T(his) C(an’t) be F(ootball) Bank stadium next year.
R.I.P. Kinnick North

by jocohawk on Nov 24, 2008 9:46 AM CST 0 recs

iowa fans sure are sensitive...

…when you remind them they don’t win very much.

by rencito on Nov 24, 2008 10:30 AM CST 0 recs

calling people names?

is this something that we shouldn’t be teaching our children? Or are you just having fun with a little rivalry?

what you say here can, and will, be used against you

by GopherNation on Nov 25, 2008 12:51 PM CST up 0 recs

Sensitive? Maybe....

Annoyed by ignorant people who blab useless garbage? Very much so!

by jocohawk on Nov 24, 2008 10:48 AM CST 0 recs

Ignorant? How about facts!

Director’s Cup Standings the last 15 years

2007-08 – Minnesota #28, iowa #50
2006-07 – Minnesota #20, iowa #68
2005-06 – Minnesota #16, iowa #53
2004-05 – Minnesota #22, iowa #39
2003-04 – Minnesota #20, iowa #48
2002-03 – Minnesota #11, iowa #42
2001-02 – Minnesota #7, iowa #48
2000-01 – Minnesota #23, iowa #44
1999-00 – Minnesota #19, iowa #34
1998-99 – Minnesota #21, iowa #43
1997-98 – Minnesota #17, iowa #34
1996-97 – Minnesota #15, iowa #27
1995-96 – Minnesota #22, iowa #35
1994-95 – Minnesota #31, iowa #26
1993-94 – Minnesota #14, iowa #43

One year out of 15 did Minnesota not finish ahead of iowa. You guys are seriously pathetic.

by rencito on Nov 24, 2008 11:46 AM CST 0 recs

Congratulations on having a hockey team

That’s the only reason why Minnesota has big Director’s Cup numbers. Stanford fields about 174 different sports teams and wins every year.

Again, Lake Superior does not equal clearly superior.

Oh yeah, and 55-0.

Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."

by Hawkeye State on Nov 24, 2008 11:51 AM CST up 0 recs

Actually, two hockey teams

Minnesota scores a bunch of points every year for beating in-conference rivals like Minnesota State, Michigan Tech, and UMD in men’s hockey, then another bunch of points for sending six 250+-pound coeds out there to do the same in women’s hockey to Bemidji State.

I’ll concede the point: You have a lot more fat women on skates than we do. Congrats.

Oops Pow Surprise: "I'm stuck writing at the Titty Barn."

by Hawkeye State on Nov 24, 2008 3:17 PM CST up 0 recs