Erin Andrews a Candidate for Head Coach
by Buck Bravo on Nov 12, 2009 7:20 AM CST
in Gopher Football
17 comments
If the Gopher football team loses versus South Dakota State on Saturday, there will inevitably be an emotional tidal wave of irrational exuberance demanding a new head coach. After giving current head coach Tim Brewster only two recruiting classes to turn the entire program around and with two failed coaches preceding him, finding a new head coach would be a tough chore. If in fact a search for a new head coach is to commence, there is but one candidate who could turn the Minnesota program into a BCS contender within one or two years: Erin Andrews.
The case-in-point is only half comical, because while it is a farce the argument has credence:
- The Gophers would receive national television exposure on a weekly basis. With Erin Andrews as head coach, there would probably be a few nationally broadcast games each season on major television networks. It's all about ratings, right? Also, sports newscasters around the country would give Minnesota frequent coverage. Newspapers, magazines, and blogs would all become instant experts on the University of Minnesota.
- Talented recruits would commit to Minnesota. Inevitably, there would be a certain percentage of five and four star recruits who would commit to a team that is frequently on television, plays in a major city, has one of the nicest stadiums in the country, and...oh...what recruit could say no to Erin Andrews?
- Talented coordinators would come to Minnesota. National television exposure, talented players, a chance to be a part of history, and an opportunity to work for Erin Andrews. In fact, Minnesota could probably land enough talented coordinators and assistants to take care of the coaching. Erin Andrews appears to know the basics of the game of football in her interviews, but instead could focus on recruiting and public relations while the top tier coordinators and assistants take care of the rest.
- Ticket sales would skyrocket. Literally, TCF Bank Stadium would be the hottest ticket in town.
- Merchandise sales would skyrocket. Maroon and gold apparel would be a nationwide sensation. The University could generate millions (if not tens of millions) in revenue from apparel licensing alone.
- Minnesota would make history. What other hiring decision could possibly top the hiring of Erin Andrews as the first female head coach of a Division IA program? 100 years from now it would still be a college football first and a trivia fact known by the masses.
Ridiculous? Yes. Am I Serious? Of course not. But then again, it just might work.
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BRILLIANT!
The lack of student section attendance would no longer be a problem and suite sales would go through the roof despite no alcohol sales.
what you say here can, and will, be used against you
Suite sales
Would probably be enhanced if a pair of binoculars was provided
Visit my D2 Baseball Blog - Northern Sun Baseball
Hmm
I would have thought the superfluous inclusion of a certain side line reporter to drive traffic would be a bit taboo after a certain incident.
Isn't everything we write about
Superfluous? Universities would carry on just fine without sanctioned sports. We’re here to entertain.
Buck Bravo
by Buck Bravo on Nov 12, 2009 10:02 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
It is a satire intended to get a point across through humor. Not to be taken seriously. If they fired the coach after two full recruiting classes, finding a successful replacement would be difficult. Who would want to coach a program with a history of mediocrity and a short timeline for success? A sensational hire would be the only option. Add in the single most googled name in college sports to drive traffic to the site, and there you go.
Buck Bravo
by Buck Bravo on Nov 12, 2009 10:52 AM CST via mobile up reply actions
Buck
I get your message and humor but I just can’t get out of this post-Illini funk. That game last week was not just one “L” but a season/program killer. I have seen this scenario played out many times the past 35 years. I have gone from the infuriated stage to just plain old bummed out.
it wasn't that bad
it was not a program killer, we lost to a talented team that has vastly underperformed this year. A Big Ten loss cannot ever be considered a program killer. And we’ll still make a bowl so it really can’t be considered a season killer either. It is the difference between the Alamo and Little Caesars / Insight bowl. Disappointing for sure but it’s not like it knocked us out of the Rose Bowl.
what you say here can, and will, be used against you
by GopherNation on Nov 12, 2009 3:32 PM CST up reply actions
Coach Andrews
The Illinois game was a sickening loss, another to be added to the long list over the recent years. It would be so much easier to lose with Erin Andrews coaching and on local and national TV all of the time for our viewing pleasure. .
by bobbyspringfield on Nov 12, 2009 8:19 PM CST reply actions
Gnation
I am just too damn lazy to thoroughly spell out my case, but that IU game hurt. What this program needs is momentum, a buzz, some excitement, some press. Imagine a big win agst MSU followed by wins agst IU and SDSU and going to Iowa to end the year with a 3 game winning streak. What we have right now is SOS. Same old, same old. AAnd who knows what could happen in Iowa. This would have helped recruiting tremendously and spilled over into next year. You don’t think there is a major difference between the Alamo Bowl and the pizza bowl?? That was the pivotal game that will be played this year and what happened, the guys come out flat, the coaching staff looks confused, no sense of urgency from fans or observers. That IU game is a game you have to win. Beating PSU or OSU happens but is a fluke. Oh hell, enough. I refuse to accept that the U of M cannot be a top tier program. Most everyone else seems to be ok with it.
semantics I guess
I’m with you that the Illni loss was a buzz kill and the season would have a different outlook had we won. I’m not OK with the loss. But I’m questioning the “season” or even “program” killer label. To me a season killer is one that knocks you out of a certainty. A season killer is a bad loss that would actually keep you out of the bowl picture altogether or knock you out of the Rose Bowl. There is a difference in the bowls, but my point was it is still a bowl.
The loss sucks, but it isn’t dramatically altering the outcome of what was already a mediocre seasons.
what you say here can, and will, be used against you
by GopherNation on Nov 13, 2009 1:05 PM CST up reply actions
Gnation
I’d rather talk FB instead of work. I have seen so often the Gopher FB program right on the cusp of taking the program to the next level and every stinkin’ time they don’t seize the opportunity—-I am talking the past 40 years now. It is such a tough, slow, incremental climb up that you cannot blow the opportunities when they arise. I can handle losses but that Illini game stunk. The biggest game of the year and how can they play a first half like that?? They did not look physically or mentally prepared to play that game and that is what really bothers me. To me an Illini win coupled with a SDSU win now puts us out of that “mediocre” category. Not to mention an upset agst a vulnerable Iowa and a solid bowl berth. I guess my point is some losses hurt more than others and to me this Illini loss will go down as the toughest one of the season because of the ramifications of it.
by Texas Gopher on Nov 13, 2009 2:34 PM CST up reply actions
we are basically on the same page
It just certainly wasn’t a program killer, it was just a sucky loss. I wish badly we could have played them earlier in the season. Kind of like Michigan last year.
what you say here can, and will, be used against you
by GopherNation on Nov 13, 2009 3:40 PM CST up reply actions
Correction
I am sure you knew I was talking about U of Illinois and not “IU.”
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