B1G/PAC Matchups

In case you missed it, the B1G and Pac 12 are teaming up to add some fun to the scheduling for Football and Basketball. What was missed was that the initial match-ups were released, showing that the conferences have the same sense of humor that the U.S. Open golf tournament usually has.

Minnesota vs. UCLA: Both of these schools were once football powers, the same way the Ottoman Empire was once a power (Long before most of us were born).

USC vs. tOSU: To be efficient, this game will be played at the NCAA Headquarters in Indianapolis, and the winner will be put on probation with a scholarship reduction.

Oregon St. vs. Michigan St.: There’s nothing more entertaining than two little brothers fighting for the right to not sit bitch in the back of the station wagon. Have at it, little fellas.

Colorado vs. Nebraska: At halftime everybody faces north and drops trou to moon Texas.

Cal vs. Chicago: The Clark Shaughnessy Bowl.

Michigan vs. Arizona: Rich Rodriguez gets fired twice at halftime.

Washington St. vs. Indiana: This game has will not actually be played, as The International War Crimes tribunal has declared it a crime against football.

Penn St. vs. Oregon: This matchup was made simply because of the class, dignity, and tradition of PSU’s uniforms, and the complete lack of those things associated with Oregon’s.

Arizona St. vs. Illinois: Two programs that spectacularly under-perform on a regular basis will be paired to create a game that will be surprisingly good.

Iowa vs. Utah: “In heaven there is no beer, that’s why we drink it…hey, where does a guy go to get a beer here in Utah?”

Washington vs. Wisconsin: Remember that time these schools won a national title? Well, at least Washington had one for a few years.

Northwestern vs. Stanford: Teams will dress up as either storm troopers or rebels, the coin toss will be replaced with a game of Chess, and kickers will be required to prove their extra points. Q.E.D., bitches.