The gnomes had a swift and unified reaction to news of
Bret Bert Bielema's departure for the wilds of Arkansas...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Nebraska gets a reprieve. The gnomes were prepared to heap a nearly unending pile of ridicule on the Huskers for that smelly mess they passed off as a Big Ten Championship Game performance. And then, the best news of the year. News that has spawned one of the largest schadenfreude Twitter binges the gnomes have seen in quite some time. The B1G's resident bro-seph, the king of collar popping, the single largest consumer of Natty Lite in the Midwest, UW's very own Bret Bielema.
Oh Bert. Not only did you leave for a job that you will almost assuredly be fired from, you left for a program where your every move will be followed by FOIA requests and crazy pig hat wearing YouTube ladies. Best of all, you left the Badgers in a lurch for a modest pay raise that UW should have been able to match. Which suggests that you weren't very happy there at all despite your success. And now Wisconsin fans are left with some serious cognative dissonance. They all hated Bert for being a major dbag. But they like winning. So they are happy the turkey neck skirt chasing frat boy is gone but now have to worry that Barry might hire their own version of Tim Brewster. For the gnomes (and the rest of the world) this is delicious to watch.
So in lieu of a traditional "WTBD?" post, the gnomes offer a very special compilation of the best of the Bert related humor, mockery, and ridiculousness that they've seen on the interwebs. With a bit of their own commentary mixed in of course. Please enjoy this schadenfreude buffet with the gnomes' compliments.
Before we get too far along, one last Biel with it, with feeling!
From Ted Glover an OTE comment thread:
MISCELLANEOUS TWITTER FUNNIES
BERT RELATED MEMES
From SpartyFever in an OTE comment section:
From Ted Glover (man was on a roll) in another OTE comment thread:
BEST OF THE OTE COMMENT SECTIONS
He'll fit right in with this fanbase. His twin brother already has season tickets
UPDATE: From Bert's Presser This Afternoon
If it's not playing automatically click here: assets.sbnation.com. You'll be glad you did. It's deliciously awkward.
FUNNY BERT BLOG POSTS
//double douchebag collar pop
So tell me Bret...
Just call me brah MIKE-EE!! UP TOP!
And you can call me...
How about Al? That was a great brah frat song back in the day, know what I mean Al?
//triple douchebag collar pop, reaches into cooler for a can of Natty Light
CRAZY PIG LADY BELIEVES IN BERT
THE NSFW FINALE...
SERIOUSLY. ONCE SEEN THIS CANNOT BE UNSEEN...
YOUR RETINAS WILL BE SCARRED...
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED...
OK, A LITTLE SOMETHING TO REMEMBER BERT BY
BETTER DEAD THAN RED!
Are you happy to see Bert go?
Yes (85 votes)
No (8 votes)
93 total votes