Minnesota Football: Models and Bottles! - Wisconsin

Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

HATE WEEK 2.0 predictions are in. Let's say we just forget about the math and focus more on the hate, mmmmmk?

This intro needs more hate.

Well, this will do nicely (fast forward to 4:30).

Models

Last week, on Models and Bottles:

Big Ten Legends Division Race - Final Record Probabilities
Team 4-4 5-3 6-2 7-1 8-0 Projected Wins
Michigan State X 0.7% 9.9% 40.5% 48.9% 7
Nebraska 34.8% 47.2% 16.6% 1.4% X 5
Minnesota 74.5% 24.2% 1.3% X X 4

The story is unchanged. Sparty took out Nebraska and clinched at least a tie of the Legends Division crown. The simulation still doesn't like the Gophers' chances in the final two games.

Gopher Win Probability 5.3%
Predicted Points Scored 14.7
Predicted Points Allowed 33.8
Predicted Margin of Victory -19.1
Current Vegas Spread Gophers +16.5
Current Vegas Over/Under 50.0

Bleh. I don't like this math.

In fact, SCREW IT. This is a rivalry game, where anything and everything can happen (and usually does). In fact, I should probably incorporate a "rivalry game" factor in the model for next year.

Besides, Jimi found the Zombie Dust. This is in the bag.

Bottles

I'm tempted to stick with Zombie Dust here, given the strange voodoo powers it holds over the team when the TDG community finds and consumes the elusive nectar. I'm a little worried that I'll end up like Bill Pullman in Serpent and the Rainbow if I pick it though, and the last thing I want is to find myself buried alive in Haiti. Not during HATE WEEK, people.

So, we'll eschew the foreign and stick with the comforts of the local and familiar: Bad Axe, from White Bear Lake's own Big Wood Brewery.

Holding out hope someone in the Twin Cities brew scene will craft up some #BETTERDEADTHANRED stout for next year...

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