100 Days Until Gopher Football: 100(ish) things to do in the meantime

Brace Hemmelgarn-US PRESSWIRE

Here are 100 (or so) ideas of things you can do in the next 100 days until Gopher football starts.

  1. Think about Gopher football.
  2. Review the Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.
  3. Try a brand of bourbon you've never tried.
  4. Rake your yard.
  5. Rake my yard.
  6. Phone a friend.
  7. Read "The Essential Smart Football"
  8. (Re)Discover the joys of Johnson's Baby Oil.
  9. Write a synopsis.
  10. Think of new ways to make fun of Northwestern fans for being rich.
  11. LOCK IT UP!
  12. Head to the lake.
  13. Do what Tim Beckman would do: put in a dip.
  14. Play in the John Mariucci Golf Open
  15. Pop your collar.
  16. Visit Panther Distillery in Alexandria, Minnesota's only legal booze maker.
  17. NO, YOU LOCK IT UP!
  18. Long walks on the beach.
  19. Punch yourself in the face if you did #15.
  20. Start a business. (Idea: Jerry Sandusky Wine Bar and Athletic Equipment Superstore)
  21. Pick the dandelions from my yard
  22. Over-estimate your net worth.
  23. Go to Minnesota State High School Baseball Tourney at Target Field in mid-June.
  24. Visit Pat Reusse at the Minnesota State Fair.
  25. Run for public office.
  26. Enjoy Coke.
  27. Make a canoe the way that Ron Swanson would.
  28. Save room for cake.
  29. Create a personal business card to hand out at parties and bars.
  30. Design a t-shirt.
  31. Don't let Elliott Mann turn your t-shirt idea into an Iowa shirt.
  32. Take a self-guided Big Lebowski Tour.
  33. Create a fake Bret Bielema Twitter account.
  34. Contemplate that your fake Bret Bielema Twitter account will never be as random and bro-tastic as Bret Bielema's real Twitter account.
  35. Practice tailgating.
  36. Encourage the TDG Staff to hold more Google Hangouts.
  37. Play golf.
  38. Copy/paste #TAKES from last year in prep for football season game recaps. (This was GN's idea... it sounds like prep work to me, which is probably why I don't understand.
  39. Sit on the fence.
  40. Make a joke about Brady Hoke's weight.
  41. Visit Okoboji, IA: an area of Iowa that clearly should be part of Minnesota.
  42. Start banking brownie points to off-set how angry your special lady friend is going to be at you on Saturday's this fall
  43. Walk the cat.
  44. Explore the band The 4onthefloor.
  45. Lawyer up.
  46. Remember a time before 1992 when Wisconsin Badger football didn't exist.
  47. Consider the possibilities.
  48. Boo lustily.
  49. Prepare your tailgate gear.
  50. Buy maroon & gold Zubaz.
  51. Start a Gopher gnome collection.
  52. Donate $ to build a statue commemorating Jerry Kill for winning the 2013 national championship.
  53. Prepare for football season by getting punched in the stomach.
  54. Work on original mocking and insults for your Iowa co-workers to use when Floyd comes home.
  55. Work on original mocking and insults for your Wisconsin co-workers to use when The Axe comes home.
  56. Do a J.
  57. Come up with original ideas for food on a stick.
  58. Predict which four games Nebraska will lose in 2013.
  59. Ask your boss for a Kirk Ferentz-type buyout.
  60. Laser tag? Laser tag.
  61. Slack off a fuzzy little foreigner.
  62. Host a wet t-shirt contest.
  63. Become an organ donor.
  64. Go to a local semi-pro baseball game and heckle the opposing pitcher.
  65. Browse Yahoo Answers.
  66. Attempt to answer the question "What's a Rutgers?"
  67. Dress up like Purdue Pete and show up for work at your local nonexistent rail-yard.
  68. Demand all-marshmallow Lucky Charms.
  69. Revel in the BADgers losing
  70. Embark on a squatch hunt.
  71. Beat up someone from Yale.
  72. Find money in the Banana Stand.
  73. Come up with some new "Your Mom" jokes.
  74. Be more like Zach Galifianakis.
  75. Start a Bleacher Report Fanzine.
  76. Reacquaint yourself with 80's hair metal.
  77. Join the Minnesota Twins starting pitching rotation.
  78. Go to a restaurant and begin your order by saying the words "You will bring me..."
  79. Commit to one week of an all corn diet.
  80. Crash a funeral.
  81. Start a Minnesota Lynx blog.
  82. Find out what goes on in the Champagne Room
  83. Print out copies of the 2014 & 2015 Gopher football schedules. Burn them. Catharsis.
  84. Get visual evidence of Rex Burkhead's mom dancing on a table.
  85. Shake the hand of someone taller than Tom Izzo.
  86. Have a drink on a patio.
  87. Start a "Makato Jesus for Heisman" Campaign.
  88. Stick to your policy.
  89. Travel with your own ice machine.
  90. Be surprised and amazed by one of those "I am interested to know how many of the people in my network are seeing this..." messages on LinkedIn.
  91. Get laid off from ESPN.
  92. Find your doppelganger.
  93. Sit in a chair on your front lawn with a hose and spray passersby.
  94. Climb a tree.
  95. Try a McRib.
  96. Come up with your own list.
  97. Seriously, this was way harder than I thought.
  98. Thanks to GoAUpher and GopherNation for a couple of ideas on the list.
  99. I should have waited until 50 days left.
  100. Stop judging me.
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