The Daily Gopher: FanPosts

Gophers Leading the Way

2008-12-04T06:54:38Z

According to Adam Rittenberg's blog over at the four letter, Minnesota leads the way in academic all conference football players with 26 (tied with Ohio State and Northwestern). Last place is Illinois with just 7. Here is the complete list:

Illinois: 7
Indiana: 22
Iowa: 16
Michigan: 9
Michigan State: 11
Minnesota: 26
Northwestern: 26
Ohio State: 26
Penn State: 16
Purdue: 14
Wisconsin: 12

Congrats Golden Gophers! Good to see the guys are hitting the books when they aren't on the field. It does everyone at the U good if we keep this standard up.

Gopher basketball schedule upgraded for 2009-2010

2008-12-01T21:41:37Z

Marcus Fuller of the Pioneer Press is reporting that the Gophers will be a part of the 2009 field of the 76 Classic basketball tournament. The tournament will occur over the Thanksgiving weekend next year and the eight team field will include...

UCLA - assume will be highest ranked team
Texas A&M - leading scorer will be gone, returns the rest
West Virginia - leading scorer will be gone, returns the rest
Long Beach State - Dan Monson's club
Clemson - has two significant seniors on current team
Butler - zero seniors on roster
Portland - zero seniors on roster
Minnesota - no significant seniors on roster

This is going to be a decent little tournament. Looking at current rosters every team brings back almost their entire roster. UCLA loses a LOT but we all know they'll reload. Other than that Clemson loses two, and the rest of the field brings back nearly all of their significant contributors.

As far as the Gopher's schedule is concerned we know that Nebraska is on the schedule and of course we'll get an ACC opponent that will be at our perceived level of competence. So at the very least we'll have three or four quality opponents on the non-conference schedule as opposed this year's two. Likely we'll play two or three good teams in the 76 classic which will be a nice change of pace compared to the previous few seasons.

And Reusse's 2008 Turkey of the Year is

2008-11-27T18:15:29Z

Yes i guessed it right....MARIAN GABORIK.

Heres Reusse's Explanation

We're now ready for the Grand Turkey -- and for the first time the winner is a ghost ... Marian Gaborik.

He was invisible for the Wild in the playoffs last spring. He's been invisible for the past seven weeks after allegedly suffering a mid-torso injury in an intense game of Hacky Sack.

Between these disappearances, Gaborik turned down the Wild's long-term offer for many millions.

Sad to say, the Turkey Committee couldn't locate Gaborik to invite him to the banquet and to hear our clarion call for change. Of course, in Marian's case, change could come in the simple act of playing a game.

Rescuing Minnesota: A Three-Point Plan To Effect A New Paradigm of Success

2008-11-26T14:25:06Z

Oops Pow Surprise is a founder and senior member of Black Heart Gold Consulting, an Iowa-based form that specializes in strategizing and public relations.

Greetings, Daily Gophers! If you're wondering why this post is here, before last weekend's game, BHGP and TDG made a bet that the winner would get a post front-paged on the loser's website.

Well, here we are, and to no sane man's surprise, the Hawkeyes won. By a lot. By so much that we started screwing married chicks in the bathroom out of boredom.

But to be perfectly honest, as Hawkeye fans, we're not terribly eager to come by here and gloat. It's just not sporting. After all, if a child beats a substantially smaller child, he is no hero or warrior, he is a bully.

Simply put, we're not into that. As a matter of fact, Minnesota, we're here to help, so here are three easy steps your school can take to avoid this sort of embarrassment in the future. All three suggestions are perfectly reasonable and well within Minnesota's best interests. We won't even ask for credit when they're enacted; virtue is its own reward.

1. Bring back Glen Mason.

At least under Uncle Glen, Minnesota was halfway competitive in the Big 10. Mason was the fourth-most tenured coach in Minnesota's tumultuous history, and the other three are long since dead. Mase won literally over half his games and never, ever lost by 55. Brewster has never been a head coach before and needs to learn how to manage a game that is not going his way, and if there's one coach that knows about that, it's Uncle Glen.

2. Avoid the embarrassment of being outdrawn at your own stadium by an out-of-state rival by moving to a smaller stadium.

Downsizing is so 21st century, and we think the TCF Bank move is a decent first step. Not many teams would have the self-honesty to construct the second-smallest stadium in their conference. But at the same time, it seems fairly obvious that an open-air stadium in Minnesota can never consistently draw 50,000 Gopher fans, especially after the first deep freeze of the fall (usually around September 12). The stadium's architects noted that it can be expanded to up to 80,000 seats, which is adorable, but perhaps it would be wise to look into contraction.

Our state-of-the-art computer rendition of a more realistic stadium size is shown here, and we feel it's much more in line with the Gophers' long-term goals.

3. Move to the MAC.

The Mid-American Conference is home to many proud academic and athletic institutions, and such a move would be benificial to not only Minnesota, but the MAC and Big Ten as well. The MAC could finally field an even number of teams, and the Big Ten would no longer have its 11-team identity disorder. Moreover, Minnesota would truly be among its peers, both in terms of geography but athletic prowess and fan support as well. The MAC would potentially afford the Gophers multiple bowl opportunities, such as the Motor City Bowl in picturesque Detroit, and also the ubiquitous "At Large Bid (if applicable)." Seems exciting!

And there you have it. By redirecting efforts toward more modest, reasonably attainable goals, the Minnesota athletic department can avoid its decades-long tradition of embarrassment against Iowa and the other legitimate members of the Big Ten (basically everyone but Minnesota and Northwestern). Die-hard fans can revel in the prospect of a Gopher Renaissance in the MAC, which is still technically I-A, and the rest of the Big Ten can switch to a, shall we say, more opt-in system of playing Minnesota, rather than being mandated to do so by conference officials.

Again, no need to thank me. Black Heart Gold Consulting is a labor of love, not glory or profit. We look forward to seeing Minnesota on Iowa's schedule once every ten Septembers or so, when Iowa needs a MACrifice to fill out the year's slate. In the meantime, we'll sure miss you.

Iowa Fans

2008-11-25T15:06:44Z

It's an erroneous statement that Iowa fans travel well to Minnesota...they all live in Minneapolis. So unless you consider driving from Blaine to be traveling well, than it's just a false statement. Why would you want to stay in Iowa post-graduation anyway?

More, if they did travel from Iowa, it's because they are die-hards...not by choice but because of a complete lack of any other options. What else are they going to be fans of, the Barnstormers in AFL? Please, there is nothing to do in that lowly state, so they become Hawkeye fans by force, rather than by choice.

There is no doubt that Iowa is well-represented at Gopher v. Hawkeye games, but it is undoubtedly because they live in the Twin Cities and/or have nothing better to do in Iowa...just a fact.

Final standings for Big Ten Blogger's Pick'em

2008-11-24T17:57:45Z

After leading for 12 weeks I have been overtaken. Who hates Iowa?

1	Happy Hour Valley	132
1	Michigan SportsCenter	132
3	Paint the Town Orange	131
4	Gopher Nation	130
4	Off the Tracks ™	130
4	Maize'n Brew	130
7	Lake the Posts	128
7	Zombie Nation	128
9	Black Shoes Diary	125
10	Boiled Sports	123
11	Eleven Warriors	121
12	Enlightened Spartan	120
13	Ground Zero East Lansing	119
14	Maize & Blue Nation	118
15	Sparty MSU	117
16	Hawkeye Sports News	116
17	The Buckeye Blog	114
17	Varsity Blue	114
19	Hoosier Report	110
20	The Nittany Line	107
21	Buckeye Battle Cry	99
22	The Only Game That Matters	80
23	BHGP (HS)	61
24	Nittany White Out	35

Gophers OL coach, Phil Meyer resigns

2008-11-24T16:58:00Z

For Immediate Release:

University of Minnesota offensive line coach Phil Meyer has resigned his position to pursue other professional interests. The announcement was made Monday morning by Gophers’ head coach Tim Brewster.

“I’d like to thank Coach Meyer for his hard work and contribution to this program,” Brewster said. “Phil has been a long-time friend and I wish him and his family all the best in the future.”

Brewster said he plans to move as quickly as possible in hiring a replacement. A national search is already under way.

Why the Gophers are CLEARLY SUPERIOR to iowa

2008-11-23T02:45:07Z

There is a big reason why I did not capitalize iowa.

Minnesota's athletic program:

women’s cross country two time defending big ten champs

men’s cross county ranked #14; iowa not ranked

baseball team actually finished a half game ahead of iowa—the only team we were ahead of in the conference

men’s basketball finished ahead of iowa last year

iowa doesn’t even have a men’s golf team Correction: Minnesota's men's golf team finished 2nd in the big ten while iowa finished second to last

iowa men’s gymnastics finished dead last in the conference

Gophers won the big ten in women’s soccer

men’s swimming finished 3rd in the big ten—iowa finished second to last

women’s swimming won the big ten last year, iowa in 9th place

women’s rowing: Minnesota 4th, iowa 6th

volleyball: Gophers 2nd in big ten and nationally ranked; iowa in 9th place

women’s track and field: big ten champs, iowa 5th place

men’s track and field: Gophers fifth place finish; iowa 8th

Minnesota men's and women's hockey teams are national powerhouses. iowans can't even skate so there aren't any hockey teams.

So iowa fans may say who cares, right? Of course they would. Football is quite literally the only thing they have anything to boast about. Minnesota has one of the best athletic programs in the entire country. So when someone says iowa sucks--they are telling the truth.

Big Ten Blogger Pick'em

2008-11-21T15:06:37Z

PJS is leading in our TDG Pick'em, but with one week remaining GN is dominating the Big Ten Bloggers pick'em (B10 games only). Here are the updated standings.

1	Gopher Nation	120
2	Michigan SportsCenter	119
3	Paint the Town Orange	118
4	Enlightened Spartan	117
4	Maize'n Brew	117
6	Happy Hour Valley	116
7	Lake the Posts	115
7	Zombie Nation	115
9	Off the Tracks ™	114
10	Black Shoes Diary	112
11	Eleven Warriors	111
12	Boiled Sports	110
13	Maize & Blue Nation	108
14	Sparty MSU	107
14	Ground Zero East Lansing	106
16	The Buckeye Blog	104
17	Hawkeye Sports News	103
18	Varsity Blue	101
19	Hoosier Report	100
20	Buckeye Battle Cry	99
21	The Nittany Line	97
22	The Only Game That Matters	80
23	BHGP (HS)	61
24	Nittany White Out	35

One week to go for a regular season championship, for the record here are my picks for the final week...

Illinois over Northwestern
Ohio State over Michigan
Penn State over Michigan State
Purdue over Indiana
Wisconsin over Cal-Poly
MINNESOTA over Iowa

Gopher Hockey vs. Denver Preview

2008-11-21T11:47:07Z

(promoted by PJS .... thanks for the preview!)

The newly #1 ranked Minnesota Men's Hockey team faces off this weekend at #10 ranked Denver University. For the past 4 weekends the Gophers have tied the first game of the series and then won the second game giving them 3 points each time. This weekend's games are -

Friday 8:37pm - FSN
Saturday 8:07pm - FSN

The Gophers lead the all-time series against DU 90-63-12 but went 0-4-1 against them last year which included a loss to Denver in the WCHA Playoffs Championship game.

The Star Tribune preview makes note of the recent trend of tie-win to point out that the Gophers aren't perfect - Gophers Hardly Perfect
The always interesting WCHA Blog over on USCHO has a short blurb on UM Goalie Alex Kangas winning the Co-Defensive Player of the Week last week with his first collegiate shutout. The 2 writers go with predictions of UM sweep and split - USCHO - WCHA Weekend Preview
After a disappointing sweep at the hands of SCSU last weekend Denver coach George Gwozdecky talked about his teams consistency as part of a Lets Go DU Blog interview - Gwozdecky Interview

In other non-DU related news:

The Gophers signed 6 future hockey players to LOI's during the early signing period. Information on them as well as some details on the potential of having Bemidji State enter the WCHA can be found on Roman Augustoviz's Star Tribune Blog - The New Gophers Are ...
Finally the WCHA Blog does a good job of reporting on the ongoing saga at Wisconsin with their decommitments. Brock Montpetit refused to sign his LOI making him the 4th player to back out to the Badgers after giving a verbal commitment. The discussion continues about how coach Mike Eaves "over recruits" and the resulting fall out - Wisconsin Decommit #4

While it might be prudent to predict a tie-win again I have a feeling the Gophers will lose at least 1 game this weekend in the mile high air of Denver. Since they seem to play better on the back half of the weekend I'll go with a Friday loss followed by a Saturday win.

Time to Play Hardball with the Hawkeyes

2008-11-19T02:56:18Z

(promoted ....)

So after reading up on the Hawkeye trashtalk at Black Heart Gold Pants, I decided that we need to either dig up some more dirt on that cornhole of a state (pun intended) or just state some of the obvious (they would probably call it making fun of them, but I regard it as fact). Well, I did a little bit of both, in the form of YouTube clips and jokes, and hopefully others will follow suit.

The first video clip was beautifully done, in my opinion, and if you want any added comfort heading into this weekend's game, just pay close attention to and remember the expressions on the faces of their fans.

What's really amusing is how they seemed SO glum to the fact that they were beaten substantially by the #1 ranked team in the country.

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This clip depicts how absolutely dimwitted some Hawkeye fans can be. I was actually disgusted to see this, and after watching for the first minute or two it was pretty easy to spare myself from watching the rest. (WARNING: Contains Some Brief Profanity)

Classy, right? The video, however, seems just a little bit more comical after reading the joke involving the semi carrying pigs (See below videos). It just seems like a good fit for the situation.

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This is actually pretty funny, which depicts how a guy from Iowa tries to convince a friend who moved there from Minnesota that his state shouldn't be hated on. Funny all except for the Iowan repeatedly calling his friend Canadien, but I think we can let that one slide taking the average Iowan IQ into account.

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And finally, the best clip for last. I will go as far as to claim that this behavior is innate, and if I can teach this you can consider me the next "dog whisperer" for the National Geographic Channel.

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Also, if you want some great jokes to tell the plethora of Iowa fans that will probably be at the game, check out some of these gems below. Just make sure to have group support if you decide to start storytime.

A Hawkeye fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?" The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."
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Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Iowa's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
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Q: Did you hear the story about the semi-truck carrying pigs that flipped over on the University of Iowa campus?

A: The officials had to check ID's before letting any of the Hawkeye cheerleaders back on board.
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A man enters a bar & orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The
robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail & then asks him, "What’s
your IQ?"

The man replies "162″ & the robot proceeds to make conversation about
global warming factors, quantum physics & spirituality, biochemistry,
environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology & sexual proclivities.

The customer is very impressed & thinks, "This is really cool." He
decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around & comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink & asks him, "What’s your IQ?" The man responds, "about a 100."

Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football,
NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns & women’s body
parts.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar & decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out & returns; the robot serves him & asks, "What’s your IQ?" The man replies, "Er, 50, I think." The robot says… real slowly, "So.. how.. bout.. them.. Hawkeyes?"
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What is the difference between a Hawkeye fan and a puppy?

Eventually, the puppy will quit whining!
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Three guys, a Hawkeye Fan, a Cornhusker fan and a Gopher fan are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, that’s three wishes total," says the Genie. The Cornhusker fan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Nebraska." With a blink of the Genie’s eye, ‘POOF’ the land in Nebraska was forever made fertile for farming.

The Hawkeye fan was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Iowa CIty, so that no Cyclones, NIU Panthers or Golden Gophers can come into our precious city." Again, with a blink of the Genie’s eye, ‘POOF’ there was a huge wall around Iowa City.

The Gopher Fan (a civil engineer), asks, "I’m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it’s about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds Iowa City; nothing can get in or out — virtually impenetrable."

The Gopher fan says, "Fill it with water."
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A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a good Iowa joke?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am an Iowa grad. The guy sitting next to me is 6' 2" tall, weighs 225, and he's an Iowa grad. And the fella next to him is 6' 5" tall, weighs 250, and he's an Iowa grad. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?"

The first guy says, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."
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Q: How many University of Iowa freshman does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, it's a sophomore course.
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Q. What did the Iowa graduate say to the Minnesota graduate?

A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"
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It was reported that Iowa head football coach Kirk Ferentz will only be dressing twenty players for the Minnesota game. The rest of the players will have to get dressed by themselves.
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Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Iowa grad, a Minnesota grad, a Michigan grad, and a Wisconsin grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They argued all the way up the mountain, and when they reached the top, the Wisconsin grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Badgers!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Michigan grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Wolverines!" Seeing this, the Minnesota grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Gophers!" and pushed the Hawkeyes fan off the side of the mountain.

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These should let those Iowa fans know who's state really tops the other (pun intended). Any other good jokes or clips are welcome!

Gopher hockey moves up to No. 1

2008-11-18T00:29:05Z

The University of Minnesota hockey team moved up to No. 1 in the nation in this week's USA Today/USA Hockey Magazine poll released today.

The Gophers (6-0-4), who were ranked No. 2 last week, received all 34 first-place votes to reach the top spot for the first time since Jan. 22, 2007.

Minnesota is coming off a 2-2 tie and 3-0 win over Michigan Tech this past weekend. Goaltender Alex Kangas recorded his first career shutout in Sunday's win.

Do you like Chaos?

2008-11-17T14:00:07Z

There's a possibility we could be looking at a BCS Meltdown scenario where neither of the teams in the championship game have won their conference. There are a few interesting things that need to happen, but it's possible.

- Oregon State wins the Civil War
- Florida State beats Florida
- Texas Tech beats Oklahoma
- Florida beats Alabama in the SECCG
- Mizzou beats Texas Tech in the BXIICG

If that happens the next two teams up are USC and Texas (according to the current BCS rankings. If that happens, get ready for the bobbleheads at the 4 letters to start yapping about a playoff.

Monson and Long Beach State Nearly Upset Bucky

2008-11-16T23:01:00Z

Dan Monson had his Long Beach State team within one point with less than one minute left. Then Marcus Landry made a clutch three and a clutch block on the defensive end to help Bucky avert a Kentucky-like embarrassment.

Williams Gone Four to Six weeks

2008-11-13T01:44:11Z

Gophers Center Jonathon Williams is out for 4-6 Weeks

Myron Medcalf and My Ears Contribute to the report.

Tubby Smith said that senior center and co-captain Jonathan Williams is out for the next four to six weeks with a hernia on Dan Berreiro’s radio show on KFAN Wednesday afternoon. That means, Williams may not return until the start of the Big Ten season in late December.

Losing Williams will hurt the Gophers more than losing Damian Johnson. Johnson is set to return soon and has only missed two exhibition games so far. Williams’ injury will force freshman center Colton Iverson to become the starter at the spot. Iverson had a chance to earn that spot, based on the way he’s played so far. My guess is that Ralph Sampson III will move over to the five and back up Iverson. Two freshman big men in a league with a lot of tough post players. That’s a tough situation for any team.

MarQueis Gray Qualifies For U

2008-11-12T16:11:17Z

According to this story on Gopher Illustraded MarQueis Gray, the highly regarded 4 star QB from Indiana, has passed his ACT and will be joining the Gophers for the 2009 season.

Gray joined the team over the summer and spent the summer months working out with the team. He was even allowed to practice with the team when fall camp opened for a few weeks. However, midway through camp he learned that there was an issue with the NCAA Clearinghouse and he would need to return home.

The future Gopher quarterback would have to re-take his ACT test and earn another qualifying score. Gray did not complain and released a statement through the University of Minnesota indicating that he would indeed take care of the issue. "I'm confident that I can clear up my situation this fall and I'm excited to re-join my teammates at Minnesota," Gray said.

GI.com learned this morning that Gray has indeed taken care of the matter. He learned early this morning that he earned a passing score on the ACT test he took on October 11th.

Story - Gray Story Link

Two New In-State Recruits Commit to Brewster Nation

2008-11-10T00:44:58Z

Two in-state recruits the Gophers wanted very much to stay home have decided to do just that.

Tight end Ra’shede Hageman from Minneapolis Washburn and defensive end Matt Garin from Eastview made their commitments in back-to-back meetings with the Gophers coaches Sunday morning.

”He went in to (coach Tim) Brewster’s office and gave his commitment, then I went in and did it,” Garin said.

Garin said he was always leading towards the Gophers, but wanted to check out a couple other situations before making a final decision. He had offers from several Pac-10 schools, Colorado, Boise State and West Virginia.

”It was always going to be Minnesota,” Garin said. ”I just needed to go to my other visits to see if there was anything out there for me and there wasn’t. I liked everything here, coaches (Ted) Roof and (Tim) Cross were great guys to be around.”

Meanwhile, Hageman is a big addition for the Gophers. The 6-6, 250-pounder is very fast and was highly recruited. He had visited Ohio State and Wisconsin and also had offers from Florida, Iowa, iowa State, Michigan State, Oklahoma and Nebraska.

Later Sunday, the Gophers also got a verbal commitment from Joey Searcy, the defensive tackle from Grandview, Texas.

Kent Youngblood from the Strib on the report.

The 4 Year Path To Gopher Glory

2008-11-09T02:43:30Z

2008. 20 W and NIT.

2009. 23 to 25 W and NCAA.

2010. 27 to 28 W and NCAA Sweet 16.

2011. 30 W and NCAA Final 4.

The 2010 and 11 Gophers will be Big 10 and national contenders.

The Gophers will be very talented and deep both of those seasons.

2011 lineup looks like this. (3 recruits will be added from 2010 class)

F White, Carter, Williams, Mbakwe.

C Sampson, Iverson.

G Hoffarber, Nolen, Joseph, Cobbs.

Checking in from Metrodome

2008-11-08T16:41:50Z

It is 30 min till gametime. The Gophers are just finishing up their 11-on-11 drills from the 5 yard line. I don't want to be an alarmist but Eric Decker was not participating in said drills. I have seen #7 in uniform but he has been watching the warmups. I assume that he will be starting and playing but keep an eye on him a he may be limited.

I have also seen many of the expectd recruits on the field. Sheldon Richardson as easy to spot as he had his name on the back of his sweatshirt (thank you Sheldon). The younger Alipate was chatting up Richardson and I'm sure was telling him about our beautiful lakes and parks in Minnesota. Other recruits seen have been Garin, Moses, McNeal and others I haven't identified yet. The Student section is chearing them on when they walk by.

Starters are as expected with some "ORs" along the OL. I am predicting a breakout game for Pittman. He looked fine in warmups and with Decker slowed, I am taking a shot and predicting his breakout game.

I'll be watching the running game very closely today. I'm hoping to see some smashmouth football where the OL is knocking the Wolverine front (3 or 4) back on their heels all day.

That's all for now, Let's get the JUG.

A Friendly Reminder

2008-11-06T15:20:05Z

* Since 1950, The University of Minnesota has the same amount of National Championships in football as the skunk helmets from Ann Arbor: 1.

* The Victors is a terrible song. They are not the champions of the west, they are not conqu'ring heroes, and they are certainly not the leaders or the best.

* They stole Princeton's helmets and didn't cite their work.

* Also, it has been brought to my attention that Ann Arbor is a whore.