beyond-photoshop Stories - The Daily Gopher
Better Know An Iowa Football Opponent 2010: Eastern Illinois Panthers (Part One)
The off-season is a long and tiresome trudge, so how can we best get through it? By looking ahead to next year, of course. So, in the spirit of forward thinking, we present a team-by-team look at Iowa's 2010 football opponents (with looks at Illinois and Purdue thrown in for good measure so our...
Iowa Football Has Your "Iron Man" Right Here
MS Paint rulz. As you may have heard, there's a quaint little art film called "Iron Man 2" opening in a handful of movie theaters today. The rest of you heathens can have your hard-drinking, womanizing, arrogant-as-hell billionaire playboy in Cyclone colors*. At Iowa we know a thing or...
Kirk Ferentz's Alternate Reality
The urge always comes late at night. The urge always comes when he's alone at the office, when the silence surrounds him, when he's necessarily left to his own devices, when his brain is free from distraction--and must distract itself. That's when Kirk Ferentz gets the urge to wonder what if. Not...
Fran-demonium part II: Fire up your Photoshop
I realize you're probably just about fran-punned out by now, but I got bored. And when I get bored, I photoshop. So what you get is more Fran. You're probably thinking: "Why didn't you just put this in the other thread, you Fran-bagging son of a bitch?" And the answer to that is, "shut up." ...
THE OLYMPICS JUST GOT AWESOMERER
In retrospect, Tobias' decision not to wear skis would doom the German's chances. Hate to jump in on the Iowa Hawkeye coverage going on right now--what with basketball season or whatever--but we would be remiss if we didn't point out Germany's silver medalist in the 30 km cross-country skiing:...
Please Stop Implying That the Iowa State Wrestling Team Is Full of Wankers
[Scene: a sparsely-roofed, manure-littered barn in the middle of Ames, Iowa. The words "MEDIA PAVILIEN" [sic] are painted onto the side of the barn. It is the most modern building in the entire city. Inside, reporters sit on cow carcasses and bales of hay, listening as a coach speaks about his...
BREAKING NEWS: Jimmy Clausen Attacker Found
Authorities say the attacker was unhappy with recent Notre Dame football results, saying, "I know what I said about peacemakers, but I don't want to inherit an earth where the Irish are 6-6." Clausen is unlikely to file assault charges. However, his former coach is alleging identity theft. ...
Just In Case You Were Wondering If Kirk Ferentz Would Look Ridiculous With A Moustache
...yeah, he probably would.
The Panchero's Zombie Assault, Explained
Hola Pancheros, what order I like turtles Que? Here or to go? I like turtles Que? No habla turtle, little English, habla Espanol, Pancheros. Burrito? I like turtles HEY COME ON NOW PAL I WANT TO ORDER A FOOD TO EAT WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA HEY (turns around) HOLY SHIT A ZOMBIE PUNCH Dude,...
Pwnership Goes Beyond Photoshop
From the FanShots, a picture that was tragically resized is now available as God intended it. Enjoy. (Click on picture for the largest size available) The maddest of mad props go to reader Herkey Hawkeye. You guys are awesome sometimes.
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