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HATE WEEK Goes Poetic

Nothing says HATE like 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and 5 syllables.

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I started to write a traditional hate piece but felt my words were lacking. I was unable to deliver an expression of hate that was as raw as this one (h/t Marshmoose)...


...or as beautifully worded as this expression of undying HATE (also h/t Marshmoose)...

My hate for both teams flows like the mighty Mississippi

If you’re standing stationary on shore, it never seems to end or slow down, day or night. Sometimes it overruns it’s banks and destroys whole cities in mere hours. Tracing it back to it’s source would take many, many moons. A torturous adventure fraught with peril. Finally you would find it’s source – a giant lake of hate bubbling up from the earth. Digging deeper, you would discover that it’s actually a collection of hate from all over the world, rained down from the heavens, soaked into the earth, then pushed out in an ever-flowing force of nature. This is how I hate Iowa and Wisconsin.

What could I do? I didn't want to deliver a substandard hate piece and simply list out things I hate like a bad PowerPoint slide. And then it hit me...I could write ridiculous haiku poems!

So it is with great pleasure that I present to you, HATE WEEK HAIKU! It's pure animosity delivered 5-7-5 style. I hope you enjoy and feel inspired to share your own HATE HAIKU submissions in the comments!