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- Think about Gopher football.
- Review the Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.
- Try a brand of bourbon you've never tried.
- Rake your yard.
- Rake my yard.
- Phone a friend.
- Read "The Essential Smart Football"
- (Re)Discover the joys of Johnson's Baby Oil.
- Write a synopsis.
- Think of new ways to make fun of Northwestern fans for being rich.
- LOCK IT UP!
- Head to the lake.
- Do what Tim Beckman would do: put in a dip.
- Play in the John Mariucci Golf Open
- Pop your collar.
- Visit Panther Distillery in Alexandria, Minnesota's only legal booze maker.
- NO, YOU LOCK IT UP!
- Long walks on the beach.
- Punch yourself in the face if you did #15.
- Start a business. (Idea: Jerry Sandusky Wine Bar and Athletic Equipment Superstore)
- Pick the dandelions from my yard
- Over-estimate your net worth.
- Go to Minnesota State High School Baseball Tourney at Target Field in mid-June.
Visit Pat Reusse at the Minnesota State Fair.- Run for public office.
- Enjoy Coke.
- Make a canoe the way that Ron Swanson would.
- Save room for cake.
- Create a personal business card to hand out at parties and bars.
- Design a t-shirt.
- Don't let Elliott Mann turn your t-shirt idea into an Iowa shirt.
- Take a self-guided Big Lebowski Tour.
- Create a fake Bret Bielema Twitter account.
- Contemplate that your fake Bret Bielema Twitter account will never be as random and bro-tastic as Bret Bielema's real Twitter account.
- Practice tailgating.
- Encourage the TDG Staff to hold more Google Hangouts.
- Play golf.
- Copy/paste #TAKES from last year in prep for football season game recaps. (This was GN's idea... it sounds like prep work to me, which is probably why I don't understand.
- Sit on the fence.
- Make a joke about Brady Hoke's weight.
- Visit Okoboji, IA: an area of Iowa that clearly should be part of Minnesota.
- Start banking brownie points to off-set how angry your special lady friend is going to be at you on Saturday's this fall
- Walk the cat.
- Explore the band The 4onthefloor.
- Lawyer up.
- Remember a time before 1992 when Wisconsin Badger football didn't exist.
- Consider the possibilities.
- Boo lustily.
- Prepare your tailgate gear.
- Buy maroon & gold Zubaz.
- Start a Gopher gnome collection.
- Donate $ to build a statue commemorating Jerry Kill for winning the 2013 national championship.
- Prepare for football season by getting punched in the stomach.
- Work on original mocking and insults for your Iowa co-workers to use when Floyd comes home.
- Work on original mocking and insults for your Wisconsin co-workers to use when The Axe comes home.
- Do a J.
- Come up with original ideas for food on a stick.
- Predict which four games Nebraska will lose in 2013.
- Ask your boss for a Kirk Ferentz-type buyout.
- Laser tag? Laser tag.
- Slack off a fuzzy little foreigner.
- Host a wet t-shirt contest.
- Become an organ donor.
- Go to a local semi-pro baseball game and heckle the opposing pitcher.
- Browse Yahoo Answers.
- Attempt to answer the question "What's a Rutgers?"
- Dress up like Purdue Pete and show up for work at your local nonexistent rail-yard.
- Demand all-marshmallow Lucky Charms.
- Revel in the BADgers losing
- Embark on a squatch hunt.
- Beat up someone from Yale.
- Find money in the Banana Stand.
- Come up with some new "Your Mom" jokes.
- Be more like Zach Galifianakis.
- Start a Bleacher Report Fanzine.
- Reacquaint yourself with 80's hair metal.
- Join the Minnesota Twins starting pitching rotation.
- Go to a restaurant and begin your order by saying the words "You will bring me..."
- Commit to one week of an all corn diet.
- Crash a funeral.
- Start a Minnesota Lynx blog.
- Find out what goes on in the Champagne Room
- Print out copies of the 2014 & 2015 Gopher football schedules. Burn them. Catharsis.
- Get visual evidence of Rex Burkhead's mom dancing on a table.
- Shake the hand of someone taller than Tom Izzo.
- Have a drink on a patio.
- Start a "Makato Jesus for Heisman" Campaign.
- Stick to your policy.
- Travel with your own ice machine.
- Be surprised and amazed by one of those "I am interested to know how many of the people in my network are seeing this..." messages on LinkedIn.
- Get laid off from ESPN.
- Find your doppelganger.
- Sit in a chair on your front lawn with a hose and spray passersby.
- Climb a tree.
- Try a McRib.
- Come up with your own list.
- Seriously, this was way harder than I thought.
- Thanks to GoAUpher and GopherNation for a couple of ideas on the list.
- I should have waited until 50 days left.
- Stop judging me.