Big Ten Media Days - The "I Really Wish I Was In Chicago" OPEN THREAD

Big Ten Media Days. A time when Jerry Kill is not asked as many questions as he deserves and silly questions get asked of almost everyone. This year's edition comes with bonus chum for any bloodthirsty folks, as the Carlos Hyde incident, the requests for reduced PSU sanctions, and the Big 12's new AD's comments on breaking big football into it's own division of the NCAA leave plenty of room for ALL THE STORIES THAT CAN BE WRITTEN TO FIT A DESIRED NARRATIVE.

Let this be your place to share any news (real or imagined) that comes out of today, the questions you'd ask if you were there, and whether you wish B1G Media Days was the insane circus that SEC Media Days are. I mean, they try hard but they are not.

Bonus points for anyone who can turn some element of media days into a haiku. My first attempt?

Media Days Are
The Home Of Inane Questions
But I Want To Go

And with that, MEDIA DAYS OPEN THREAD!