Minnesota Football: New Mexico State Preview - The Gophers Are Playing Wile E Coyote

"ABANDON HOPE, ALL YE WHO CAME FOR INSIGHT AND WISDOM"

I'm not gonna lie, this preview isn't going to live up to the high standards I've sometimes set for myself. The real world has decided that no, I will not have enough time for research of any kind. Thankfully the Gophers are playing New Mexico State, which means that "The Gophers are better and will win" is really all that needs to be said.  If you're looking for something beyond that and some snark, I'd recommend you check out these previews by Bill Connelly and Burnt Orange Nation. If you do, please feel free to pretend they were written by a tall dude in Zubaz and give me mental credit for such fine work.

What will you find here? SNARK.

OPENING THOUGHTS

The Gophers are going to win this game. I have no doubt in my mind that they will. There's always a chance it won't be pretty and it may not be by as much as we'd like, but one way or another the Gophers are leaving Las Cruces with a victory.

So why should we all care? Because this is the type of game where we should hopefully see some improvement in areas of deficiency from the first game. I could go through them all, but I think we've talked them to death at this point.

This is what the gnomes think of NMSU.

I think it accurately describes their strength and it seems fitting based on location.

THE BASICS

When and Where:

7pm CST, Aggie Memorial Stadium

Media

TV: Ok. I'm going to list where I've heard that this game will be available. I am NOT, repeat, NOT promising this is right. If anyone sees a mistake, please correct me in the comments.

- Alititude Sports 2 - DirecTV channel 682 (SD) - requires sports package

- Fox Sports Arizona - DirecTV channel 695 (SD) and 695-1 (HD) - requires sports package

Bars: I know of 2 locations that have apparently committed to carrying this game.

- gopherguy05 has Joe Sensors in Roseville is saying they'll carry it.

- JDMill has BW3's in Rochester saying they'll have it.

Internet: This is the only way to watch the game that I'll 100% guarantee.

- BTN2Go.com

- NOTE: Please remember that you cannot post links to illegal streams in any of the comment sections.

Radio: KFAN (100.3 in the Twin Cities) and the Gopher Radio Network (Radio Affiliates). You can also listen to the game via the IHeartRadio app for your mobile device.

Weather Forecast:

Desert, with a chance of giant metal birds.

via travelblog.mostlyfiction.com

THE ENEMY

Last Season:

Bad.

BAD.

BAD.

Wait, you were looking for a record? 1-11 (0-6 WAC).Yea.

2013 Season To Date:

After a promising start, this happened when NMSU tried to keep up with Texas:

Keys to the Game:

- Establish the passing game:This means a few things to me.

1) Better completion % for Philip Nelson.

2) Receivers creating actual separation.

3) O-Line giving Phil time to work.

- Stop the #RUTM: I want to see the Gophers take back the Axe and this is important in accomplishing that.

- Limit assignment/alignment issues on O or D. Clean up the simple errors that make it easier for NMSU to gain yards or shut down our offense.

How Afraid Am I?

On a scale of 1 to 5 "Brewsters on his face" (1 being not a afraid, 5 being very afraid)?

1 BREW IN A POT OF CHILI

I am so unafraid of NMSU that my chili is actually hot.

Completely Worthless Prediction:

Gophers have their ups and downs, but Mankato Jesus throws for 2 scores with no picks and the Gophers roll, 38-13.