Big Ten Media Days 2014: Coach Kill Is Ready For Questions - Here's What TDG Would Have Asked

The Big Ten Media Days may not be as big of a circus as the open media sessions before the Super Bowl, but sometimes they're pretty close. It's in that spirit that I share with you a list of questions we cooked up in case we were able to send someone from the TDG staff to Chicago. And let me tell you, they are awesome totally fake.

Coach Kill

- ESPN recently noted that Metallica has some free time since Mariano Rivera retired. Have you reached out to them about writing an entrance song for you? Or will you be simply use your favorite song from the "Kill 'Em All" album?

- Let's play a quick game of Would You Rather. Would you rather eat dinner with Jim Souhan or have Bret Bielema confuse your hand with a ham sandwich?

- Who throws a tighter spiral, Tom Brady or Mitch Leidner?

- You've known Gary Patterson for a long time. Are there any embarrassing stories you'd like to share in a candid moment of gamesmanship?

- What's the dumbest question you've ever been asked by a member of the media (and please remember that for this exercise, we at TDG are not members of the media)?

Mitch Leidner

- Gopher fans at TDG love calling you Moose. If you're the Bullwinkle of the Minnesota Gophers, who would be your Rocky? And which coach or player in the Big Ten do you feel best represents Boris Badenov?

- How much would we need to pay you to run a Varsity Blues clock play on either Bucky or Herky?

- You're stranded on a deserted island and you can choose one iPhone app to use, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat?

- You're going to throw the ball away when you have the chance this season right? PLEASE?

David Cobb

- Huge fan of your "Make It Rain" celebration. That said, is there any chance you and Matt could come up with a new celebration that he can perform in the press box without getting kicked out?

- Which one of your lineman is the most "rip the arms of a defender and then beat him to death with them" nasty in the run blocking game?

- Being part of ESPN's "Golden-I" montage...Great moment in history or greatest moment in history?

- Each player who wins the Stanley Cup gets to spend one day with the trophy. How will you spend your day with the Axe?

Cedric Thompson

- You've been playing with Antonio Thompson for about 2 weeks now. Is he as mysterious in person as he appears to be on the internet?

- Music City Bowl or Texas Bowl? Go!

- Are you going to take over the "he just ate a guy" role on the defense this year? Because tall Gopher fans with Zubaz really need someone to replace Shede in that role.

- Speaking of Zubaz...how many pairs do you own and which is your favorite one?