I saw this come across Twitter this morning and my immediate thought was "These two have to be from Iowa."
Sadly no. South Carolina. Which is really the Iowa of the Carolinas if you think about it. (Don't think about it, it doesn't make sense.)
The remainder of this section can be summed up thusly:
This tall gentleman over here wearing the goofy pants harbors significant negative feelings towards Iowa. https://t.co/NdBfavFz6Y— Chris H. (@GoAUpher) November 14, 2015
The gnomes don't think Iowa is the #5 team in the land. They don't respect Iowa's schedule. They think Herky is a stupid made up bird like thing. And they talked to Floyd this week and he is dead set against going back to Iowa. He said they don't feed him Burrito Loco in Iowa, that the Heartland Trophy farts at night, and that Kirk keeps trying to get him to play with his model car collection and won't take no for an answer.
The gnomes would also like to remind you that an Iowa win would make people like this happy.
Kickoff Time: 7 PM CST
Where: Kinnick Stadium, Iowa City, Iowa
TV: Big Ten Network
Streaming Video: BTN2Go.com
Radio: KFAN (100.3 in the Twin Cities) and the Gopher Radio Network (Radio Affiliates).
Streaming Audio: Locate KFAN on IHeartRadio.com (or the IHeartRadio app for your mobile device)
Satellite Radio: SiriusXM 195; Sirius 136; XM195
Spread: Iowa 9 to 10, depending on the site.
Over/Under: 45.5 to 46, depending on the site
Bill C's S&P+ Pick
|Proj. Winner||Proj. Margin||Win Prob.||Pick
|Michigan at Minnesota||-12.5
This is about as perfect as you can get for a night game in the middle of November.
Where Are They From? Iowa City, Iowa.
All Time Series: Minnesota leads the series 62-44-2.
Maxx Williams stretched his 6'4", 250 lbs. frame to glide over the TCF Bank Stadium turf and haul in another impossible reception, his latest masterpiece leaving Iowa defenders in a wake of rubber pellets and awe. Four plays later, he put Minnesota up for good.
There's an inflection point during a particularly enjoyable sporting event where the emotions switch from the temporary sugar high of instantly gratified bliss over to the more profound state of unadulterated satisfaction. The former whisks you away for a brief moment and allows one to forget previous wounds if only for a short while. The latter is what heals the soul of a fan.
51-14 was intensely, overwhelmingly satisfying.
2015 To Date: 9-0 (5-0 Big Ten). Truly, this is a #special season.
Head Coach: Kirk Ferentz, who we all liked better when he was the butt of buyout jokes. Kirk is 124-85 (73-60) in his 17 seasons at Iowa.
Keys to the Game
- Field Position: One thing that hurt Minnesota last week was the fact that they were always facing a long field. Iowa meanwhile has gone through the season with Top 30 average offensive and Top 10 average defensive starting field position. Given that Iowa's offense is not particularly explosive while their defense has proven to be pretty stout, flipping the script for Iowa will be important to winning this game.
- Win the turnover battle: Look, we all know Iowa isn't as good as their fans want us to believe. But they aren't bad. In fact, they are good (just not great). They are better than Minnesota is right now. Turning the ball over/losing the turnover battle isn't something the Gophers can get away with.
- Defend Floyd: Winning today would cure a lot of ills from this season. Get it done Gophers!
How Afraid Am I?
For those who don't know, this is a bit where I rank my fear by saying how many Tim Brewsters I am afraid of the opponent. The more Tim Brewsters I list, the more afraid I am...because the memory of Timmy Brew is scary for all Gophers fans. Typically this is done on a scale of 1 to 5 "Brewsters on his face" in the Metrodome, though I mix it up as needed. Tim Brewster, Iowa, and the Metrodome must never be mentioned however.
I'm 3 Timmy B's and .5 evil Kirk Ferentz with laser eyes in a wintry cornfield afraid of Iowa. I'm actually not especially stressed about tonight's game. I just wanted to have Kirk shooting lasers out of his eyes.
Completely Worthless Prediction
I know what will probably happen, but I don't like it. OPTIMISM IT IS! Gophers ruin Iowa's #special season and keep Floyd home.
Minnesota 21 - Iowa 17