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Golden Nugz: Monday May 11

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Sports around the U are beginning to wind down. Here are some highlights.

Hannah Foslien/Getty Images

Sports around the U are beginning to wind down. Here are some highlights.

Softball

Minnesota softball was upset by the Hawkeyes over the weekend, losing 2-0.

The Gophers will play New Mexico State in the opening round of the NCAA Tournament.

Baseball

Once again the Gophers outhit a team, but were resoundingly beaten. This time, it was by Iowa 7-1. Minnesota plays Michigan State at Siebert Field to wrap up the regular season.

Tennis

The men defeated Princeton in the opening round of the NCAA Tournament before falling to Virginia in the second round Minnesota finished 21-8 on the year, its highest record since 2000.

Track

Senior captain Mark Jennings had a personal best shot put throw to lead the Gophers past the Badgers over the weekend.

The Women's team won three titles at the Eagle Open.

Review of a Terrible Sports Related Movie

This week it's Summer Catch, a film billed as a romantic comedy that is neither nor romantic or a comedy. Classic Hollywood. Unfortunately for me and for you, this film is so bad that it's not even mockable. It's like watching a car wreck between golf carts. You just feel sorry for everyone involved.

Summer Catch tells the story of Freddie Prinze Jr.'s comically large eyes trying to get a professional baseball contract. To establish pathos with the character, he is given a backstory that David Copperfield would think was a little much. FPJ had previously had been on scholarship at Boston College before transferring to a small college after his mother's death, and then kicked off that team for fighting with a teammate. Sonny Weaver would have immediately drafted him to play on the Browns.

Jessica Biel is in this movie because trying to fight the image of 7th Heaven good girl apparently means make awful movies for an extended period to avoid getting work. Her introduction is getting out of a pool, the image of which leads FPJ to run over some plants with a lawn mower. High comedy! There's a star crossed lovers bit because FPJ is poor and Biel is rich. They love each other, but they're from different worlds. He wants to play baseball. She wants to study architecture. How will they ever survive? Spoiler, the film does not actually resolve this dilemma effectively.

Because this is a sports movie, there's a sub plot involving a hot-shot prospect who gets kicked off the team for burning down a press box. It makes sense in the movie because the universe rules seem to be entirely contrived to achieve the most obvious possible plot points. FPJ has to pitch in the final game and suddenly becomes amazing, having a perfect game through 8 innings. In the 9th inning, he can't find Jessica Biel, so he takes himself out of the game to drive to the airport and convince her to stay because he loves her. This is the least believable part of the entire film because cell phones exist in this universe. FPJ could easily have called her.

The last scene in the film is FPJ giving up a home run to Ken Griffey. I think it's unarguable that this was the beginning of the end of Griffey's career.

Overall Rating: Boring a hole into a metal table with a paper clip would be more enjoyable.