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Ohio State
Your vanity project is quickly falling behind schedule. It's not time to panic yet, but you might want to dispatch your right-hand man to bring the project back on schedule. He's good at getting maximum effort out of his underlings, and he inspires fear despite his predilection for being too forgiving. If the project manager doubles the crews' efforts, the trap you're planning for your enemies will go off without a hitch. There's no way such a large project could be destroyed by a single person... again... right?
Mich State
You've become pretty-well respected, but you're approaching a critical juncture that could change your destiny. Try to find a pragmatic approach which will protect the people who rely on you while minimizing the negative impacts on some of your friends. You probably shouldn't trust the large conglomerate suddenly showing interest in your operation.
Michigan
Many people think you're the coolest. They're wrong. They've fallen into the trap of style over substance. You're just one clumsy misstep from a thousand years of pain and suffering in a pit of despair. Your cool-looking helmet (to some people, probably Europeans) won't help you. Still, your fanboys probably won't ever shut up about you...
Maryland
You boldly made the leap into the new conference, and your devil-may-care attitude and flashy style combined to get you out of a few pickles in the past, but you might just be living on borrowed time. Head the advice of your less flashy best friend, Rutgers. They may have a different philosophy, but together... Wait. How did you two get here?
Rutgers
You're Maryland's stoic friend. You could probably learn as much from them as they could from you. You too seem awfully out of place in this post.
Penn State
A while back, things went south and you exiled yourself to the desert to regroup. You've emerged from the wilderness a little older (and a little wiser), and suddenly you're on a recruiting hot streak. Does that mean you have the depth to challenge Ohio State for supremacy? Time will tell, but right now your head-to-head battle with the Buckeyes could be fatal for you.
Indiana
You seem harmless, but in great numbers you might just have the ability to surprise some of the more advanced programs in the galaxy... err... conference. Until you prove it, people will just continue to think you're cute.