Minnesota Basketball: Dear Rutgers, You're Welcome

Dear Rutgers,

On behalf of Minnesota Men's Basketball, you're welcome.

The Gophers and the sporting deities have taken pity on you. Your prayers animal sacrifices pledging of your souls to the devil has payed off. Minnesota will come to the RAC on Saturday with only 5 scholarship players. They will be without their only remaining senior captain, 3 of their biggest recent contributors, and still without the senior starter who was gone the last time you played Minnesota.

Here's what that looks like on the Minnesota KenPom page...

Once again, you're welcome.

Minnesota is starting a walk-on at point guard. There will not be a single scholarship guard on the floor at any point during the game. At this point you have to wonder if Pitino is going to suit up one of his managers.

You are bad Rutgers. HISTORICALLY BAD. And yet on Senior Day, the final game of the regular season, you'll have a good chance at picking up a victory.

Did I mention that you're welcome?

This is your chance. You're a lock to finish as the lowest ranked major conference team in Ken Pom this year. But you have an opportunity to leave Boston College as the lone Power 5 school to go winless in conference play this season (they aren't beating Clemson). With a win you'll be able to say "Our team was truly shitty shitty shitty, but now it's only stinky farty smelly!" (inspiration)

You're welcome Rutgers. But if you would prefer to wrap yourself in an impenetrable blanket of failure instead and pull a Boston College, we won't mind.