Iowa vs. North Dakota State: Preview & predictions for the Meteor Bowl

Opening Thoughts

We all know it’s Minnesota’s bye week. But the gnomes demanded the chance to preview something, so I told them to go out and prep GIFs for the Iowa vs. North Dakota State matchup. They shot me some glares, mumbled something that sounded like "chuckfuck" (they really like that word now), and said they’d get back to me. Here’s what they put together.

Gnome #TAKES

LOOK EVERYONE BIG TEN POWERHOUSE NORTH DAKOTA STATE OPENS THEIR BIG TEN SEASON WITH IOWA WHAT’S THAT THEY AREN’T B1G THAT’S NOT WHAT ALL THEIR FANS KEEP SAYING REALLY LOUDLY THOSE FOLKS ARE THE BEST TOTALLY UNBIASED AND FUN TO BE AROUND WHAT WITH THEIR MOUTH BREATHING AND GENERAL WANKERY LET’S STOP TALKING AND GET TO THE GIF.

AND IOWA. WHAT TO SAY ABOUT IOWA VIA GIF.

Preview

What Iowa and North Dakota are good at

• Surviving in flat wastelands that most people avoid like the plague
• Farm stuff
• Beating Northern Iowa

ADVANTAGE: Push

What Iowa and North Dakota are terrible at

• Manners
• Playing nicely with others
• Indoor plumbing
• Climbing trees

ADVANTAGE: Push

Intangibles

North Dakota will be on the road, which negates their ability to wear opponents down with constant references to the decibel levels in the FargoDome. Iowa already won the Super Bowl last week, so they may be a little too relaxed from their trip to Disney World. In the end, I think this game will come down to whichever team brings the most fans wearing Water Buffalo Lodge hats.

ADVANTAGE: North Dakota State

Predictions

We’re all going to wish for a meteor, but since I don’t live in Minnesota and don’t have to see NDSU fans I want Iowa to lose. Thus my prediction: NDSU 21, Iowa 17.

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