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SATIRE: Joel Maturi Calls Fleck Coaching Search “Farcical”

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No search firm? That’s unpossible!

Photo by Matt Blewett/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

In an phone interview conducted from a secluded shack outside Chisholm, former Gopher Athletic Director Joel Maturi was flabbergasted at the coaching search that led to P.J. Fleck impending hiring as Head Football Coach within a week of the termination of Tracy Claeys. “I honestly don’t understand how this is even possible” a clearly distraught and groggy Maturi grumbled. “This was nowhere near enough time to pay a search firm hundreds of thousands of dollars, ask Mary Jo Kane and a few Olympic sports coaches what they think about the football program, read what football experts like Jim Souhan and Patrick Reusse think about the candidate, and then get rejected numerous times by your top choices. Heck, do you know how many people I got rejected by before I finally got Jerry Kill? I even asked Tony Dungy’s dog!”

After a few minutes of what sounded like a mix of crying and shouting, he continued “It’s absolutely farcical! Where’s the challenge in doing it yourself in an efficient, timely, cost-effective manner?” Following this there was a loud thud that was probably Mr. Maturi trying to slam the phone down but missing his initial target, and then the sound of someone storming off and slamming a door. Attempts to reach him for further comments went unfulfilled.