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Ranking Minnesota’s 2017 road games

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Here’s how some of the TDG staff would rate the Gopher’s road destinations.

Utah v Oregon State Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images

With tickets to all of Minnesota’s away games on sale today, it seemed like a good time to arbitrarily rank each of this season’s road games. The criteria for this exercise was simple...use any criteria you want. Here’s what I and the TDG staff came up with based on that extremely complex and exacting formula

GoAUpher’s ranking

  1. Oregon State: It’s a Power 5 non-con game in a great part of the US I haven't seen much of that happens to be close to some amazing golf courses. Plus, I have family in the region. There is also the possibility that I could pull off a Oregon/Nebby and Oregon State/Minnesota double header that day which would be cool.
  2. Michigan: I haven't gotten to see the stadium since it was renovated and it’s only 4 hours away. If the Gophers managed to pull off the upset it would amazing and immediately erase all the bad memories of my trip to the Big House in 2005 2004.
  3. Northwestern: I’ve never been there and have many friends in the Chicagoland area. I can drive to it without too much trouble and I get to pick up Three Floyds beer along the way for my trouble. Tickets should be cheaper and easy to acquire.
  4. Purdue: Super close by to me and I’ve never watched a game there. Tickets are extra cheap and easy to acquire. Downside, it doesn't exist.
  5. Iowa: No way in hell I'm paying for a plane ticket to smell pig shit all day. Also, I’ve already been there 3 times.

dvits14’s ranking

  1. Michigan, because I've never seen a game there.
  2. Oregon State, because when would we ever play there again? Would be a cool trip.
  3. jNW, because it's a close trip, with plenty of good seating available.
  4. Stupid Iowa, because Stupid Iowa.
  5. What is this "Purdue" thing you speak of?

IowaGopher’s ranking

Ranked according to their most famous non-athlete alumni:

  1. Purdue. Neil Armstrong was the first man to step foot on the moon, for God's sake. Enough said.
  2. Northwestern. Julia Louis-Dreyfus? Stephen Colbert? Seth Meyers? You had me at Julia Louis-Dreyfus. I know NW is world famous for producing the most objective sportswriters in America, but a former Veep and two late night hosts ain't bad.
  3. Oregon State. Did you know that Oregon State has produced not one but three Playboy Playmates of the Year? That's incredible. I can't imagine why they don't promote that more. Not every school can make that claim.
  4. Iowa. Some will make the case for Gene Wilder, but I'd rather pretend he isn't a Hawkeye and not speak ill of the late Dr. Frederick Frankenstein. But boy do Hawkeye fans love them some Ashton Kutcher.
  5. Michigan. H.H. Holmes was both a proud Wolverine and one of the first documented serial killers in American history.

gopherguy05’s ranking

  1. Oregon State. While Corvallis is not the prettiest part of the state, you get pretty close getting there from anywhere. Its the nicest place on the list.
  2. Michigan. Gameday at Michigan is a sight to behold. I liked my experience in 2014 a hell of a lot more than 2004 though.
  3. Northwestern I guess. Though Chicago is overpriced and I can just get tarps at Home Depot
  4. Iowa. Because Iowa City is a lot better than the last choice.
  5. Purdue. I’ve got nothing West Lafayette. At least there are decently cool bars in IC.

wildcat00’s ranking

  1. Oregon State: Corvallis is allegedly a fun sort of college town.
  2. Northwestern: I've never been to a game in Evanston, and if nothing else, I'm told you can even bring a book to the game. :wink:
  3. Purdue: I really want to see that train and that giant drum. Also, I want to know if Purdue Pete looks that weird up close.
  4. Iowa: I might be going to the game this year, so yeah.
  5. Michigan: The stadium and its denizens smell of so much smugness that it's a wonder Ann Arbor hasn't choked to death from the arrogance.

How would you rank the 5 Minnesota road games this fall?