Here’s where I was for every moment of 2007 Minnesota Football

Have you ever followed your team’s loss to FAU while shopping for a mattress? I have.

By GoAUpher@GoAUpher Jul 27, 2017, 12:16pm CDT

SB Nation is celebrating the 10th anniversary of the absolutely bonkers 2007 college football season. Individual blogs were invited to join in and write about their team’s 2007 season. Obviously the 2007 Gopher Football season was...well...less than ideal. But we realized we had things to write about besides lamentations about its horribleness. This is one of those things.

Honestly, I wasn’t going to write about 2007. When the Mothership came to the blog managers and told us about their cool idea to chronicle all the crazy stuff that happened in 2007 I felt no need to participate because why relive that year? Then I saw a tweet asking college football fans where they were when App State beat Michigan (the answer: laughing my ass off in Columbus, OH with thousands of Ohio State fans after a game at the Shoe). And it got me thinking about all the places I was during Minnesota games that season. Once I remembered one of them was a mattress store, well, I had to chronicle it all.

Bowling Green

My friend’s house - Covington, KY

What had started as a great day (first game at Ohio Stadium, beautiful weather, the aforementioned Appy State upset of Michigan) was slowing devolving. First, my buddy and I had forgotten to apply sunscreen and were starting to pay for the mistake. Second, Time Warner Cable in the Cincy area was showing the Indiana Hooiers game on Big Ten Network AND the BTN Alternate instead of having one of them show the Gophers game. Little did I know how much grief that saved me.

Miami (OH)

Sam’s Club parking lot - Madison, WI

Why Sam’s Club? Well, I was working in the satellite television industry and one of my accounts was running a sales event with a promo van at Sam’s Club. Big Ten Network had just been picked up by this satellite provider only the day before and I was excited to watch the Gophers atone for the previous week’s...unpleasantness. Instead I committed the atrocity of forcing everyone who stopped by the event to burn their souls with the terribleness that was Minnesota/Miami.

@ Florida Atlantic

Various mattress stores - Madison, WI

Have you ever followed your favorite team’s loss to a school whose head coach looked like he could replace Wilford Brimley in a diabetes commercial via a Blackberry with pre LTE internet? I have.

Purdue

Jordan’s Big 10 Pub - Madison, WI

“Come to the bar” my Nebraska friends said.

“We’ll have a good time” my UW friends said.

“We’ll have some laughs” they all said.

I did go, because hanging with friends was better than watching the game at home. I did have fun, but not because of the Gophers. I did laugh, but in pain when I got the text explaining how the Jamal Harris fumbled away sure TD on a blocked field goal.

Ohio State

Metrodome - Minneapolis, MN

I got to the parking lot downtown before I realized I’d left the tickets to the game at my hotel. Instead of telling gg05 and our wives we didn’t need to go, I went back and got them. This was a tactical error. On the plus side, we got to see the french fry and ketchup uniforms in person where they didn’t look quite as terrible!

@ Indiana

My couch - Fitchburg, WI

I didn’t get to see this one because Charter didn’t put it on an alternate BTN. Thank you programming incompetence.

@ Northwestern

My buddy’s apartment - Middleton, WI

“WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP WATCHING THIS TERRIBLE GAME AND PLAY POKER?” —-> all of my friends.

For the record, I thought the decision to go for two in double OT was the right one.

[Redacted]

Don’t know, because nothing happened

Seriously, nothing happened this week.

@ Michigan

A wedding - Cincinnati, OH

I followed this game via text and told all the OSU fans around me to calm down during the period when Minnesota wasn’t getting their butt kicked because I knew Michigan wasn’t losing.

Illinois

Um, I assume my couch?

This is the part where my plan to write about this season fizzles a bit because I honestly can’t recall what I did this day. I’m sure I groaned about the score wherever I was.

@ Iowa

My couch - Fitchburg, WI

I honestly thought this slap fight might turn into a win somehow. Delusions of competence I guess.

Wisconsin