In case you didn’t know the 2018 NCAA Frozen Four is taking place this weekend at the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul. It will pit one Minnesota team—but not that one obviously against three other Big Ten foes to determine who will be the 2018 NCAA Hockey champion. We will try and give you reasons why you should and should not root for the four teams who will hit the ice in St Paul beginning Thursday afternoon below:

Semifinal #1

Minnesota Duluth Bulldogs vs Ohio State Buckeyes 5PM-ESPN2

Why You Should Root For UMD:

If you can squint hard enough you can pretend that is the Gophers out there.

You really have a hard-on for Minnesota hockey

You want to see the best college hockey team in Minnesota in the recent past continue to curbstomp on the Gophers

Why You Should NOT Root for UMD:

They were the cute plucky team when they won it all in St. Paul in 2011—but now a good portion of their fanbase would make Yankees fans blush

Their head coach is a North Dakota grad

You never want to see an in-state rival show you up.

It will give the NCHC truthers more ammo about how much the “Big Ten Sucks”

Why You Should Root for Ohio State:

They have never won a NCAA Title in Hockey

Their stud goalie Sean Romeo was given the Elite 90 Award for having the highest GPA of any player at the Frozen Four

Shut up the NCHC truthers for a while

They aren’t going to be stealing recruits from the Gophers anytime soon—even with a title

Why You Should NOT Root for Ohio State:

The Buckeyes win enough in other things allready

Their head coach is a Wisconsin Grad

Semifinal #2

Michigan Wolverines vs Notre Dame Fighting Irish 8:30PM ESPN2

Why You Should Root For Michigan:

You see just how much a change in head coach can do in one season—and it gives hope to the Gophers next year

They aren’t Notre Dame

Shut up the NCHC truthers

Why You Should NOT Root for Michigan:

Michigan doesn’t need to be the first school in double digits in NCAA Hockey titles

You don’t want to hear Hail to the Victors any more times than absolutely necessary

Michigan wins enough at other things

You don’t want to give a school you actually recruit against more ammo

UGLY HELMETS

HARBAUGH and BRADY

Why You Should Root for Notre Dame:

Shut up the NCHC haters

Their goalie Cale Morris is ready damn good

You still feel bad about dumping Don Lucia and want to give him something good to think about

You like those gold helmets

They have never won a NCAA Hockey Championship

Why You Should NOT Root for Notre Dame:

You hate hate hate those gold helmets

You HATE the Notre Dame Victory March

You hate private schools

They win enough championships at other things

You don’t want to give a school you actually recruit against more ammo

SO....Who Should You Root For:

The official TDG position...well the official position of the person writing this article and just making it the official TDG position is that you should be rooting for....

THE OHIO STATE BUCKEYES

WHAT??!! WHY??

First, you beat UMD. That will make all the NCHC truthers shut up. You guarantee a all Big Ten title game. Second, despite being a Badger alum, their coach Steve Rohlik seems to have the Buckeyes going the right way both on the ice and in the classroom. The Buckeyes are not a team that Minnesota normally competes with for recruits...unlike the other three teams. Thus a Ohio State title is much more like the years when Yale or Providence wins rather than the years when North Dakota or Wisconsin wins.

Also, Buckeye fans while insufferable in other sports still don’t really pay attention to hockey. Thus they won’t be nearly the annoying insult redacteds that Michigan, Notre Dame or especially UMD fans would be if they won.

The Buckeyes winning the Frozen Four would be the least damaging to the Gopher hockey program, and the least annoying to the Gopher hockey fan. Thus, for this weekend only, sing Hang on Sloopy loud and proud and let the O-H-I-O chants fly!!