To help every Gophers fan wear the right outfit on Saturday, we at TDG have created this helpful Maroon Madness Apparel Guide. And because we want even your children to get in on the fun, we’ve decided to write this guide in the style of “Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?”

The adults among you are probably wondering what you’re supposed to get out of a children’s book. Well, first, stop being a stick in the mud and have some fun. Second, our hope is that anyone considering wearing a different color on Saturday will imagine me reading this to them like they’re a small child. Then, after they fall asleep for a nice nap they can wake up refreshed and ready to put on the correct Gophers gear.

You’re welcome everyone! #TDGCares

Gopher fan, Gopher fan, what should you wear?

Not a red shirt or jacket. In fact dye your hair.

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Goldy Gopher, Goldy Gopher, what were you told?

Despite your great name, you shouldn’t wear gold.

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P.J. Fleck, P.J. Fleck, what do you see?

We’re wearing one hue, an elite F.A.M.I.L.Y.

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Gopher fan, Gopher fan, what game is this?

A great kind, the best kind, a Maroon Madness!

GO GOPHERS!