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The Minnesota Statistical: Fresno State

NCAA Football: Minnesota at Fresno State Cary Edmondson-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome back to the Minnesota Statistical, the only college football statistical recap that matters because all the statistics are real but only some are legitimate. This week we have two statistics of interest to discuss.

Confused Jaguars Fan Moments: 8

To refresh your memory, the confused Jaguars fan is all of us insane people who derive physical pain from watching a game that is supposed to be entertainment.

Fortunately for the statistical but unfortunately for anyone watching the game, the stupid count was high on Saturday. Minnesota, a team that was among the least penalized teams in the country last season, decided to throw out any premise of discipline for most of the game. Moments from Fresno State include:

Tai’yon Devers taking a personal foul penalty so far away from the field of play he might as well have been in Sacramento.

Three lost fumbles! The ball is the program, and the program was on the ground so often on Saturday that it put down a deposit on a nice split level in Fresno.

A muffed punt! The muffed punt was made even better because the only reason it occurred was the blocker forgot where he was in space.

A holding call against Daniel Faalele for having the temerity to throw a much smaller man to the ground. I do not care what the actual rule is in the rulebook. If massive giants cannot throw puny linebackers to the ground and sit on them then we should cancel football.

There are others not mentioned because I am against horror movies that revel in gore.

The Larry Munson Counter: 4

For those unfamiliar with Larry Munson, shame on you and learn your history.

The Larry Munson counter is simple: how many plays in the game caused me to have a similar level of glee as Larry Munson when talking about Herschel Walker. My four moments are as follows:

The obvious one is Antoine Winfield’s interception to win the game. We have discussed that play ad nauseum, but it was so dope that I am going to talk a bit more about it. I have watched the play at least 10,000 times (conservative estimate) since last Saturday and am convinced that there is a meme to be had about Antoine Winfield stealing your hopes and dreams.

Chris Autman-Bell’s first touchdown reception came in style. Autman-Bell had a healthy dose of great catches last year, and secretly I think he may have the best big play ability on the roster. His body control in the air is special, and getting his first touchdown on a play that demanded precision footwork feels right.

Boye Mafe on back to back plays bowled over the Fresno State center. Both of them are Larry Munson moments. I am not sure what Joe Rossi called as a play, but I maintain that the Gophers should just run “Boye Mafe eats the center” every play. Running the same play works in NCAA 14 (hello Overload Zone Blitz) so there is no reason that it should fail in real life.