There are few perfect moments in life. The birth of a child. A cute puppy video. The moment when the Minnesota Gophers wear some :straight fire: Goldy Gopher helmets for two weeks in a row.
But as has become the custom these days, someone is always out there to ruin the fun. And when in doubt, you can always find those people in the comments (not here, but ya know, other places), your DM’s, or your mentions. What we have today is a story of #thementions and people being very #madonline in them.
First, the Minnesota Football Twitter account put out a good tweet.
WE HEART THESE HELMETS @GOPHERFOOTBALL WHY DO YOU ASK?
Then a plague of locusts showed up.
Some people were chill and expressed an understandable love for the Goldy Helmets. Others...did not.
Guess you all had some thoughts... https://t.co/WehCLMVxCi— Minnesota Football (@GopherFootball) September 18, 2019
The social media team was not deterred. They ran the numbers and came back with a well researched and thoughtful critique for the haters.
Wait, so there was a Block M on our helmets last week? pic.twitter.com/H7bJSMLs8H— Minnesota Football (@GopherFootball) September 20, 2019
You might be saying, “I would like to see more of these haters that GoAUpher is talking about.” Don’t worry friend, that’s why I’m here!
I present to you PEOPLE WHO REALLY HATE GOLDY HELMETS, sponsored by the TDG Etsy Store.* Because if you’re gonna to be irrationally #madonline we’re going to mock you in crosstitch patterns.
*obviously we don’t have an Etsy store, but when you think about it it’s really not a bad idea
Tom is not amused by your fancy do-dads and talking pictures. Please get off his lawn before he calls the constable on you young whippersnappers. Also, his Space key is sticky.
The Guy Who Is So Mad That He Hates Goldy
Bill, why you gotta do Goldy dirty like that just because you have bad opinions?
The Conspiracy Theorist
“AND I KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND I SAY CAROL! CAROL! I GOTTA TALK TO YOU ABOUT THESE GOLDY HELMETS! AND WHEN I OPEN THE DOOR WHAT DO I FIND NOT A SINGLE GODDAMN HELMET IN THAT OFFICE! THERE. IS. NO. CAROL. IN EQUIPMENT MANAGEMENT!”
The Guy Who Can’t Count
We should be focusing on winning. Ya know. Like we’re already doing. Wearing these helmets I think the coaches are spending hours drooling over instead of actually coaching. I have weird ideas about how people spend their time. Also, there is such a thing as Capital F Fashion and I’m the one who knows all about it. Please subscribe to my newsletter.
The Drunk Misogynistic Nebraska Fan
If this is what this dude is like talking about the Gophers, imagine what it must have been like to be next to him at Folsom Field after he paid $800 to watch Nebraska lose to Colorado. WHOO #GBR BABY!
The Crabby Guy
Clearly Jeff is crabby. Please cheer up Jeff, it’s really not that important.
What do you think of the Goldy Gopher helmets?
This poll is closed
Capital G Great
My Space key is stuck and I want you to subscribe to my newsletter.