clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Minnesota Football is right to wear Goldy Gopher helmets so stop being #madonline

New, 32 comments

And if you’re going to dislike them, try not to be silly about it or we’ll mock you in our Etsy store.

There are few perfect moments in life. The birth of a child. A cute puppy video. The moment when the Minnesota Gophers wear some :straight fire: Goldy Gopher helmets for two weeks in a row.

But as has become the custom these days, someone is always out there to ruin the fun. And when in doubt, you can always find those people in the comments (not here, but ya know, other places), your DM’s, or your mentions. What we have today is a story of #thementions and people being very #madonline in them.

First, the Minnesota Football Twitter account put out a good tweet.

WE HEART THESE HELMETS @GOPHERFOOTBALL WHY DO YOU ASK?

Then a plague of locusts showed up.

Some people were chill and expressed an understandable love for the Goldy Helmets. Others...did not.

The social media team was not deterred. They ran the numbers and came back with a well researched and thoughtful critique for the haters.

/chef’s kiss

You might be saying, “I would like to see more of these haters that GoAUpher is talking about.” Don’t worry friend, that’s why I’m here!

I present to you PEOPLE WHO REALLY HATE GOLDY HELMETS, sponsored by the TDG Etsy Store.* Because if you’re gonna to be irrationally #madonline we’re going to mock you in crosstitch patterns.

*obviously we don’t have an Etsy store, but when you think about it it’s really not a bad idea

The Traditionalist

Tom is not amused by your fancy do-dads and talking pictures. Please get off his lawn before he calls the constable on you young whippersnappers. Also, his Space key is sticky.

The Guy Who Is So Mad That He Hates Goldy

Bill, why you gotta do Goldy dirty like that just because you have bad opinions?

The Conspiracy Theorist

“AND I KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND I SAY CAROL! CAROL! I GOTTA TALK TO YOU ABOUT THESE GOLDY HELMETS! AND WHEN I OPEN THE DOOR WHAT DO I FIND NOT A SINGLE GODDAMN HELMET IN THAT OFFICE! THERE. IS. NO. CAROL. IN EQUIPMENT MANAGEMENT!”

The Guy Who Can’t Count

We should be focusing on winning. Ya know. Like we’re already doing. Wearing these helmets I think the coaches are spending hours drooling over instead of actually coaching. I have weird ideas about how people spend their time. Also, there is such a thing as Capital F Fashion and I’m the one who knows all about it. Please subscribe to my newsletter.

The Drunk Misogynistic Nebraska Fan

If this is what this dude is like talking about the Gophers, imagine what it must have been like to be next to him at Folsom Field after he paid $800 to watch Nebraska lose to Colorado. WHOO #GBR BABY!

The Crabby Guy

Clearly Jeff is crabby. Please cheer up Jeff, it’s really not that important.

Poll

What do you think of the Goldy Gopher helmets?

This poll is closed

  • 56%
    THE BEST!
    (183 votes)
  • 29%
    Capital G Great
    (94 votes)
  • 14%
    My Space key is stuck and I want you to subscribe to my newsletter.
    (47 votes)
324 votes total Vote Now