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PJ Fleck is not leaving Minnesota. Until he does.

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Unless he doesn’t. Or does. SILLY SEASON!

Minnesota v Iowa Photo by Matthew Holst/Getty Images

No one knows what is going on anymore. Oklahoma lost Lincoln Riley to USC. Notre Dame lost Brian Kelly to LSU. Several other schools (blue bloods, not traditionally stepping stone ones) may now lose coaches to replace those coaches. Mel Tucker is now getting paid 9.5 million dollars a year at Michigan State because he had a good offseason working the transfer portal and because the Big Ten was hot garbage for the most part. None of this makes sense.

But did the Coaching Silly Season ever make sense if you were a Gophers fan? We live in a world where P.J. Fleck’s agent convinced people that he could leave Minnesota for Tennessee after a single 5-7 season in Dinkytown. And now, as a result, people go “will PJ leave?” every time there is an opening somewhere. Before we tried to use logic to evaluate the possibilities, but Notre Dame and Oklahoma are losing head coaches for Monopoly money salaries and who the heck knows where up is anymore?

So we at The Daily Gopher have put our R&D team to work. Thanks to about 12 minutes* of their time, we have a scientifically validated** way to determine whether P.J. Fleck will leave Minnesota for another job. We’re calling it The Source v2000, and you should stay very very close when waiting for it’s prognostications.

*ok, 6 minutes
**if by scientifically validated you mean “throwing stuff against the wall to see what sticks”

Give it a whirl, and feel at ease knowing that you know exactly what is going to happen!

Postscript: Here’s a pro tip from your friends at TDG. Don’t spend any time worrying about whether Fleck will leave. Now, in the future, whenever. He will or he won’t and we won’t know anything about it until it happens (or doesn’t). We promise you that your life has more interesting questions in it for you to explore.

Satire